Monthly Archives: September 2023

Grown Up

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Yesterday provided an opportunity for a long drive on my own, listening to music and enjoying the Ohio autumn scenery. Walking and driving are where ideas pop up for me, probably for you too, I imagine. Here’s what floated up yesterday: the mundane things that made me feel like a grown up. I can’t say why, but one of those things was ordering a Caesar salad for the first time. I was about 20, having been invited to lunch by a boss, actually the boss’ boss, when I worked for the local branch of the cable tv company. His name was Kevin, and now that I think about it, he was probably only in his early 30’s. He had a wife and two toddler boys, whom I would later have the opportunity to babysit (relax, it was never presented as being expected or tied to my job; instead it made me feel like a trusted–albeit paid–friend) and I felt very important and intimidated to be asked to a lunch meeting. There was definitely an agenda, and we went to the Ground Round restaurant not far from our offices. And that’s where I decided that a grown-up order would be the Caesar salad. I may or may not have eaten that type of salad before that day, but it became my official adult, professional, corporate lunch order. Innocuous, but still stylish, I thought. Those croutons and fancy shaved parmesan. The knowledge that the dressing was “supposed” to be made with raw egg and anchovies. How mature. Perhaps not the case at the Ground Round restaurants, but the salad remains a favorite to this day and I do make homemade Caesar dressing the authentic way.

Another order that smacked of adulthood was a fresh bagel with cream cheese. Growing up, bagels came out of the freezer and went into the toaster, then were buttered. Crunchy, delicious carbs. It wasn’t until I became aware of adult things like New York City, Jewish delis, and lox, that I considered the very different yet equally satisfying breakfast order. In fact, there weren’t actually places to get what could be called a fresh bagel on my side of Cleveland when I was a kid, and definitely not in suburbia. I still like bagels both ways, but in my mind they are as different as donuts and muffins are from one another. If you crave one, the other won’t quite scratch the itch completely.

What sort of things made you feel like an adult for the first time?

A melting ice cube…

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I remain in love with a road trip. Not just the destination, no, the road trip. Yesterday was a rare opportunity for me to have a solo one; Jeff and I had been in North Carolina for two weeks, and he flew from there to Philly on business while I had the luggage and the Fruck (the Fake-Truck, as we call the white Honda Ridgeline we recently leased) to bring home to Ohio. I had visions of loud music and an open sunroof, but alas, Mother Nature had other plans. I had cool temps, dense fog, and full-on rain through much of North Carolina, Virginia, and West Virginia. For once, it was Ohio weather boasting the sun and warmth, so my last two hours were the breezy and loud ones. The front end of the trip, though, was spent catching up on podcasts.

First, I listened to an episode of The Modern Yoga Podcast, of which I am a co-star (you’re laughing, right?) or more accurately, regular co-host…this was the episode I missed because I had four inches of water in my old basement on the morning of the recording. Next in line was Jesus Calling, an episode in which Dr. Esau McCaulley passionately reminded that every single life, the life of every criminal and addict and idiot, as long as it’s still going on, has the chance to be something beautiful AND more importantly, that’s how we need to look at each other. To not see someone as a lost cause, ever. And to know that our own successes are not simply the result of our own talents and work, but of Providence. My favorite quote was “we owe each other ATTENTION.” Before you can help someone, you have to SEE them. Not the thousand mile stare we give the homeless (all paraphrased). Every single human life matters, but we only listen to the stories that end with our definition of success. Those are all his words, not mine, and they’re simple ones. Platitudes we all know by heart, but for me, that’s what’s good about a road trip. Listening. A lone drive, the solitude of experiencing the weather, knowing what the fog is shrouding on the winding West Virginia turnpike, but having no agenda besides listening. Fertile soil for the seeds to grow.

On our Modern Yoga Podcast, Joyce Fijalkovich Atherton and I often remark how a teacher’s cue in a yoga class can be repeated dozens of times in a hundred ways, in different classes by varied instructors. But then suddenly, something lands differently and the experience, the pose, the breath, becomes a puzzle piece that fits for the first time. A light bulb moment, an epiphany, an A-Ha…we call it many things. That’s how I felt about the next podcast in my traveling lineup. Looking at the episode list for the Mel Robbins Podcast, my eye was caught by “If You Only Listen to One Podcast Today…” — okay, sold! Here was the golden nugget (referring to how we–certainly I!–often move the same goal to the NEXT year’s resolution list over and over again): “your life is a melting ice cube.” Yeah, we know all of those platitudes too, but this time? To visualize a melting ice cube, and there ain’t no ice cube tray or ice dispenser…just the melting ice cube, ’til its a puddle of water. Quotes like “No one gives a shit about what you do” and “you’re the one in your way” supported the visual.

It’s really not my intention here to advertise podcasts. But yesterday’s lessons were this morning’s breakfast, so yes I will spend a very few minutes (which is all it takes to turn the figurative steering wheel) writing.

And also, the actual physical exercising/muscle building that appears on each year’s resolution list. Because, despite never having achieved my best body, it’s now melting literally and figuratively and this old lady’s concern has shifted to health and mobility.

Looks like maybe the drive brought the drive. For this one day, anyway.

See ya!